Today, it’s half-full

Posted by Tracy

June 7, 2017 Family  No comments

I was so gratified by all the encouraging comments I got from yesterday’s post – some of them brought me to tears (and I don’t cry at the drop of a hat). Typically I try to process my feelings internally and talk myself out of my slumps, but yesterday I couldn’t get rid of the urge to share. So thank you for listening and for giving me the boost I obviously needed.

Even when we have days like yesterday, I still get that we have it pretty good. Even better than that – things are great.

Yay for grandparents! A huge part of this has to do with the constant presence of the Boo’s grandparents in our lives. As I’ve mentioned, he is a creature of routine, and one of his routines is to have weekly sleepovers at each of his grandparents’ houses. They’ve always been ready to serve his favorite foods and let him sleep wherever he wants (on the floor or on an air mattress in the living room) and make him feel comfortable. That’s a kind of love that can’t be replicated.

Even more than that, Jason’s mother is among the forces that keep me sane. Because of her, I can work my two part-time jobs, which are more for my personal needs (ie. the need to get out of the house) than for money. Because of her, Jason and I managed to go on a grown-ups vacation for five days while the kids stayed home and kept up their routines. She also provides me with a sounding board and is another person who truly understands the Boo and his needs. I don’t know if I deserve all the help we get from her, but I am truly grateful for it.

The big circle: I’ve never been one to have tons of friends, but the ones I have are valuable, and I was reminded of that again yesterday. Thanks to you awesome people. I get to share frustrations at moms’ nights or commiserate with fellow homeschooling parents or just send out a venting text on the fly when I need to. There are the friends who know that we sometimes have to schedule our get-togethers around the Boo’s preferences – and that sometimes we have to turn down invitations or reschedule. There are also extended family members who might not live nearby, yet always take the time to ask how the kids are doing and to show their genuine love – and when we do see them, they just accept my kids as they are and are generous with their affection and patience.

I know that all these people have been there all long, and I am so grateful.

Big sister: Kiki isn’t without her own quirks, and some are out in full force now that she’s a teenager. Now that she’s a little older and more self-conscious about these things, I’m trying to respect her privacy. Maybe she will share things in her own time, but now that’s up to her. What I will say, though, is that she is one of the most patient and accepting big sisters out there – probably more patient than I ever was. She sits in the back seat, even though she has long been old enough to sit in the front, just because she knows that the Boo likes it when she’s back there. She puts up with his fits, even when he insults her and does her best to fend off his kicking feet when he’s in one of those more aggressive moods (she does know when to push back, though, and she manages to do it without hurting him). Because of their age difference, they don’t often have common interests, and she’s not a touchy-feely person anyway, but her love for him shows through her actions, and I hope she knows how much I appreciate that.

My partner: I can’t write a sappy gratitude post without including Jason. It’s hard to summarize everything he is to me, other than the best possible person to have share my life with. We’re not the most outwardly affectionate couple, and I don’t get flowers (because the cats would eat them) or chocolates (because *we* would eat them), but if fate is a real thing, we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.

The boy himself: For every meltdown or tricky situation, there are at least five moments when my boy makes my heart burst with love and happiness. When we have our bedtime chats, he tells me about his school day or talks about how he’s going to live in Germany when he’s a grown up (he’s going to have a clock shop and live there with his wife and children; we’re going to alternate where we celebrate Christmas, you know. And since Kiki will be living in Japan, we’ll do Christmas there sometimes, too).

I also love how he decides he wants to do something, like selling lemonade, and just makes it happen (as in by turning one of our old boxes into a lemonade stand and putting lemons on my shopping list for the next day – he actually ended up making $4). These desires might be short-lived, but they are fun to watch.

Some of his passions are constantly in the background, like his clocks. He has gone back to obsessively watching clock videos and drawing different styles of clocks. He also is back to geography (my favorite of his various hyper-focuses), learning about countries and capitals and flags. He seems to have remembered a good amount from his last go-around with that one – he’s back to Stack the States and can answer most of the questions without help.

It’s incredibly satisfying and fun to watch him find interests and leap into them fully.

So I’m not always the most positive person, but today I’ll just soak it in – along with the sun that is showing itself for the first time all week.

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